Hannah Claire Shi Lin

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I Need Your Prayers

It's been over a year since I last posted to this blog, and this may be my last post on it.  A year ago things were so wonderful, at least in my mind they were.  My husband, Chip, and I celebrated our 14th anniversary, I was looking forward to reconstruction on Hannah's ear, my children and I loved our neighborhood, and in general, life just seemed good.  But this past April, Chip came to me with the shocking news that he wanted a divorce.  I'm just not the kind of person he wanted to marry, he told me, along with other reasons that weren't really reasons at all, but excuses for him to leave me and our children.  He wanted a career woman, and I'm a devoted mother and housewife, which is not what he wanted.  I was completely blind-sided and devastated, to say the least.

The good news is, Hannah did have her reconstruction surgeries and is now well on her way to being healed.  Her new ear is beautiful!  We now have an appointment to go to talk to another surgeon who can tell us about options for restoring her hearing in her left ear.

Needless to say, I'm very sad to be part of a broken family, especially against my will.  I would have never left my husband.  Marriage is sacred to me, and worth all the work that it requires to make it successful.  Unfortunately, Chip doesn't share the same beliefs about marriage. While I'm over the shock of him leaving and realize that I really don't need to be married to someone who doesn't love me unconditionally, I still struggle with the pain of abandonment, among other issues.  But it's for my children that I experience the most pain.  I wanted nothing but for them to have a happy, stable family life, and I feel like that was ripped out from under them.  It is beyond me why someone would go through the trouble of going to China to adopt a little girl, to give her a family, only to abandon that family. But all is not lost.  I know God is able to restore to us what we have lost, and in fact, to make it better than it was.  We will have a happy family life without Chip, and when God sees fit, he will provide a good father for my children.

I ask for your prayers for me for tomorrow.  I will be in court for a hearing to decide temporary custody orders.  I'm very nervous about this, but am praying that God will guide the judge in making the best decisions for my children.  Thank you so much for your support.

1 comment:

Lori @ Five of My Own said...

offering my prayers...may God watch over you and your family in this difficult time.